What the fuck was going on in Mr Mojo Risin’s head when he wrote that song….
was he visualising the entire fucking world and all the so-called relationships that exist here in this world of pleasure and pain or was he just thinking about himself and his so-called relationships???????
Either way…all i think when i listen to him say people are strange when you’re a stranger..faces look ugly when you’re alone…is HELL NOOOOOOOO…no matter how open, how caring, how loving you try to be towards any person outside that tiny closed box called family..it will always and always come back and bite you in the “behind”….or maybe just hurt you so fucking bad when you dont expect it that you will just keep telling yourself that either its not for real or that you were a goddamn idiot to have believed it was real in the first place…
yes i’m depressed…of course its evident…and yes i’m drinking…not to “drown my sorrows” as the world believes it but just to get into that state wheri i think its just not real….
but i know it…and no matter how much alcohol i consume i’m always gonna know its for real…i’ve wasted 2 years of my life before this and here i go wasting it all over again….
Organizational behavior…psychoanalysis…fucking analyse my own screwed up head….
6 relationships…..at least 2 serious relationships and here i am falling for yet another guy and just out of another relationship….2 fucking hours out of a relationship…
high on the least amount of vodka that has ever got me here….high on the lack of expressing emotions…something i’ve never done before…mba man….i shud get used to not expressing my true emotions…
but what the hell…experience everything at least once…been twice for me already but what the hell…the ever-optimistic and “ever-cheerful” and “smiling” person everyone has always known….carry on…MOVING ON….
what does that even mean???????????
DO U EVER?????
Do u forget the first time you met the person you fall in love with????do you ever forget the first kiss or the first date?????I really really doubt that…
and What when you dont????
what when you sit all alone in your room…all by yourself and look at a picture that reminds of the time when you were happy??happy once??happy a million times in just 20 goddamn months……happy…just plain that???????i dont remember the last time i was just plain happy with my family but i remember the last time i was just plain happy with him…..and what the fuck man….i dont want to remember it…i dont want to go down that path again and think it will all get better soon when the better part of me…if it exists any longer…knows it wont….not now not ever….
What do you do when you know its gone?????????you do have something to look forward to but it so fucking freaks you out that you just dont want to even experiment any longer….
BUT THE OPTIMISTIC IN ME CARRIES ON………
